Drifting the Clouds Away

One of our greatest challenges in life involves understanding disappointment. Why do we become disappointed? What do we learn from it? How can we go through this process without so much suffering?

As we grow, we file in our memories interpretations we make of reality and events in our lives, creating and absorbing beliefs and ideas from the world around us. This is a safety file, so we won't repeat the same path when the experience wasn't pleasant, and to repeat the experiences that made us feel good. In many of these files, we store concepts, notions, and beliefs about reality that we acquired through our experiences and what we absorbed from others around us. However sometimes some of these concepts and beliefs clash with our true nature, limiting us. They prevent us from vibrating at our purest energy. They're like clouds that we absorb and that cover us, hiding our true selves. They create illusions and prevent us from seeing others and situations clearly.

Suppose we acquire the belief that a good friend is someone who is always present in our lives, no matter the situation. When this doesn't happen, we jeopardize that friendship. We doubt it. The process of disillusionment takes place. The person doesn't live up to our expectations, our vision of them.

Why do we attract disillusions?

They only happen when something within us, a belief, a concept, is too high, when there's an expectation too high of something or someone, when we are deluded by something or someone. When we don't see them clearly, as they truly are. We attract disillusions through people and situations that help us dissolve what is deluded in us. It's a painful process, but on a higher level, it has a positive purpose. Making us open our eyes, removing the clouds, the misleading ideas we've absorbed through our life experiences.

In the above case, does a friend who isn't always present cease to be a friend? Certainly not. Each of us has our own lives, our own commitments. Something unexpected may happen in a friend's life that prevents them from being present at a given moment, some kind of impediment. But this doesn't make them any less of a friend.

It's at these times that we need to redefine our concepts, beliefs, and values ​​in order to give freedom to others and to ourselves. The truth is, some impediment may also arise on our part, making us unable to be present at a given moment.

When we expect too much of others, we also demand too much of ourselves, even putting ourselves under pressure to achieve this ideal we've created. When our expectations of others are lowered, we also stop demanding as much of ourselves, giving both of us more freedom.

Sometimes, we may have a vision of a person that doesn't correspond to who they really are. It's as if we're seeing them through clouds. And these clouds are ideas, beliefs we have about certain people, based on their appearance, personality, race, etc. This is projecting onto the other person a preconceived idea we have of them. And only over time, getting along with them, do we get to know that person, and the clouds will drift away, uncovering our vision, allowing us to see who the person really is. We realize that something doesn't fit into our initial vision.

Somehow, the person comes into our lives to deprogram our way of thinking,

preconceived ideas we have, the beliefs we have regarding a certain kind of people. Whenever there are preconceived ideas, prejudices, beliefs misaligned with the heart, we attract people and situations to deprogram us in relation to them. It's thus a process of deprogramming. It's the removing of the clouds that covered our vision, blinded us. And this uncovering of the clouds can happen in two ways: negatively, through disillusionment, because at first sight the person or situation was one of enchantment, and with the lifting of the clouds comes disenchantment; and positively, through admiration, because at first sight the person or situation was one of lack of interest, and with the lifting of the clouds comes surprise. In both cases, it's an awakening.

In relationships of various types, family, romantic, friendship, etc, we tend to project a preconceived idea, an ideal, onto the other. This means that within us we have an ideal of the other person, according to their role, whether they're a father, mother, lover, friend, son, teacher, etc. If they're a father, they should act this way; if they're a lover, they should act that way. And so on. And when the person doesn't live up to our ideal, we become confused and disappointed. Something doesn't fit. In fact, we can't see love in the way this person gives it to us. We need to see the other person as they are, beyond their role. A being who can be complex, with fears and insecurities, who doesn't always act according to the role we expect, the role we idealize. And this doesn't mean that love isn't present. It's simply given to us in a different way than expected.

Clearing the clouds that cover our vision is a path that brings us back to ourselves, to our true essence, which gives us a greater freedom and aligns us with our heart. It's a process that, when not understood, can lead to much suffering.

The secret to overcoming this is to understand the process, recognize the illusion we hold, and dissolve it. Only when we take responsibility for our disillusions and internally thank the other person for disappointing us, deprogramming an illusion, preconceived or misleading idea, belief, value, that we hold, can we assume our personal power and return to ourselves. To our True Self. For by allowing the other person to be themselves, without placing our expectations or idealizations upon them, we are also allowing ourselves to be our true selves, without burdening ourselves with others' expectations and idealizations of us.

And when we stop expecting of others, the unexpected happens.