The Importance of Things

How important are things to us? And why is this important?

The importance we give to a certain thing in our lives is the value it has for us. And each of us will give a different value to the same thing. If we offer something to someone, such as a hug, it will have a different effect on each of us, depending on the importance we give to the hug. For some, a hug is something trivial, for others it's so important that it makes them feel special. This can create a lot of confusion in human relationships. It's necessary to understand between two people who hug each other how important the hug is to each. A vulgar gesture for one person may suggest a deeper feeling in another, and even making them feel special to the other. Or, on a certain topic, something that is unimportant for one person but carries excessive weight for another can create an exaggerated conflict.

In romantic relationships, and in other relationships, many problems arise when the values ​​they give to things differ. What's given with so much love by one person may be received by the other person as something less valuable or given no importance at all. For a good understanding to exist at this level, it's important that both people have similar core values, that is, they should give the same importance to the same things that serve as foundation in a relationship. When this doesn't happen, it's as if the two people spoke different languages. What a person values, in giving and receiving, is of great importance. And the understanding between the two will depend on this.

Of course, not all values ​​can be equal, and therefore it's essential to communicate to the other person the importance you place on something, so that they understand and respect this. For the way we express our love will depend on what each of us values ​​and gives importance to. For some, it may be through touch, for others, it may be through caring for the other, or even through listening.

When we overvalue something, we give it an exaggerated importance.

In our eyes, this will carry a lot of weight and will be above us. We don't see it the way others see it. This is what makes us attracted to certain things, people, situations. It depends on the value we give them. If we overvalue a communicator, we admire them and give them exaggerated importance. But for someone who's already a communicator, they probably don't see it with the same importance, they don't give it the same value. Why does this happen? Because this person is already a natural and spontaneous communicator. It's a natural gift. When we overvalue a characteristic in someone, it's because we don't see it yet in ourselves, we haven't developed it yet. That's why it's so important to us. But as soon as we recognize it in ourselves, it loses its importance, it no longer has the same value.

When we like people very different from us, it's because we unconsciously want to be like them. They have characteristics we're attracted to, that we wish we had in ourselves. We overvalue these characteristics. The truth is, this is a way of learning to be like them. It's because we have to develop these qualities within ourselves. That's why, in certain long-term romantic relationships, over the years, people become more similar to each other. They were attracted to each other because they needed to learn qualities, ways of thinking, etc., from each other. And the more receptive they are to sharing, to exchanging, the more similar they become.

As we spend time with the other person, we develop these qualities, harmonizing energetically with them, and the qualities we previously overvalued lose the value we placed on them. They become neutral.

It can happen that when we overvalue a certain characteristic in a person, we see that characteristic above all others, including the less attractive ones. We fail to see the person as a whole and reduce them to that characteristic. Many mistakes happen here because we're trapped in an illusion. If this overvaluation didn't exist, we would be able to see all the other less positive characteristics that go unnoticed. That's why in relationships of any kind, it's essential to see the other person without overvaluing one characteristic neglecting all the others, as this will lead to great disappointment.

When we're overvaluing someone, without realizing it, we're devaluing everyone around them, including ourselves. And we place that person on a level we ourselves have difficulty in reaching. Probably not even that person is truly there. It's all a distorted perspective we have. We overvalue others and undervalue ourselves. We think the other person is more important and we're less. This is where disillusionment is needed to correct our distorted view of ourselves and others.

When we become obsessed with a certain subject, it's because we're giving it too much importance. We're stuck in a thought pattern, in a limited perspective, from which we can't escape. We need to gain some distance from the situation so we can observe it from a broader, higher perspective. By removing the importance we once gave it, and then we can understand, accept, and move beyond this obsession.

In our lives, we don't always live in a balanced way the various areas. Some issues are overvalued, to which we can give extreme importance, such as appearance, work, money, etc., and we disconnect from other areas that should be equally important, such as feeling good about ourselves, having good relationships with others, friendships, enjoying life by doing activities that bring us pleasure, and many others. What we give more importance to, we focus on, we nurture more, we demand more from that area, we define ourselves by it, it gains more weight in our lives. And when this doesn't go well, the world falls apart, because we only focused on that area. We forgot to nurture other areas that are also essential to our well-being and that can be a foundation for other areas to function well.

We need to nourish all areas of our lives, giving them equal importance so that there's harmony and balance.

What we value informs us of the path we've come to follow, the choices we'll make. The qualities we appreciate in others are those we've come to develop or recognize in ourselves. If we choose one among several professions, it's because we value it, because that profession holds greater importance in our eyes. However, it's essential to understand whether what we value aligns with our true nature and not something we've absorbed from someone else we valued. Sometimes, we may value someone and absorb what they value. This may not always be in line with us. We need to pause at certain points in life to check whether our values ​​are aligned with our heart. We may adopt someone's value that isn't aligned with our heart, and base our choices on that value. This is when we choose paths that lead to greater suffering. Where we're far from our true selves.

Humanity goes through many cycles, and we can see this in our lives as well. At a certain point, when we devalue something, soon after, to achieve energetic compensation, that same thing gains added value. This happens so that we experience extremes, to learn about opposing perspectives. Little by little, we move from one extreme to the other until it ceases to be extreme, until we can reach a neutral perspective. One day we criticize someone, the next day we're criticized; we experience both sides of the scale until we no longer feel the need to do so. Like a pendulum that moves between two opposing positions, swinging back and forth, experiencing both positions until it loses its strength and becomes neutral, still. That's how we are. Until we reach the neutral point of non-judgment.

The important thing to realize in all this is that, so there can be more balance in everything, the values ​​we give to things must be more equalized, that is, we must find a balance in the importance we give them, a neutral perspective. Nothing should be overvalued or undervalued, because, in the end, everything that exists has the same importance, otherwise it wouldn't exist.